Thursday, October 21, 2010

Between a Rock and a Hard Place -Journey to Our Son-Part II

I've shared a little bit of the story about how Zach came to be our forever son, but I thought that I'd give you a little more of the story...I could write about it everyday for the next year and still have something to say!  But for today I want to share about the hand of God and how He was all around us even though we really couldn't see Him (or at least I couldn't).  Kinda like in the book of Esther--His name isn't mentioned one time, but it's assumed that He is there.  Better yet, you know He's there because who else could've worked things out for the Israelites but Him?
But I digress...when we got Zach's referral in April 2004 (this was after losing our first child because the DNA didn't match with the 'mother') we were told we'd have him home in 6 months or so.  We were beyond excited!  We planned a trip to visit him that June...a trip that I regretted at the time, but now am so thankful we made.  As we left our sweet baby boy in the arms of the facilitator that June she said, "No worries, you will be back in 2 months to get him."  Yeah right!  We learned soon after to take everything the lady said with a grain of salt.  July, August, then September passed and still no Zach.  We got stuck at every point you can imagine.  International adoption is NOT for the faint of heart.  I had to depend on God with every fiber of my being.  I wanted to get on an airplane and get in someone's face and tell them to get the papers off their desk and get them moving.  This was my child!  And their slow poke, money hungry leaders were in my way.  (Not very Christ-like, but that was reality).
We finally began to move through the system when BAM-out of nowhere we got the worst possible news.  It seems that the birth mother had been married when she was pregnant.  In order to give a child up for adoption in Guatemala the mother had to be single...you can't imagine the feelings that we had.  She was supposedly divorced and there was a paper somewhere in Guatemala that said this.  Getting hands on it was another thing altogether.  It just so happened all of this was occurring during the holidays.  Guatemalans don't just close on Christmas Day...they close for like a week or more.  Finally...the paper was produced!  Was it real?  I didn't care.  All I knew was that it meant we could get our son.
Did I mention that during this time Jon's mom was sick with cancer?  We had hoped and prayed that she'd beat it, but in October (on our anniversary actually) of that year we found out that her battle would soon end.  We wanted to go get Zach and bring him home so he and Mimi could meet.  But God had other plans.  We had planned to travel to Guatemala the week before we actually went.  But there were riots and the airport had men with guns in it and we didn't know if we could bring Zach home anyway...most of all, Mimi was admitted to the Hospice House for what we thought was an intestinal obstruction.  The day we were to leave for Guatemala...Mimi wrapped her arms around Jesus and was ushered into His throne room. 
We were so defeated.  This wasn't how it was supposed to be.  Where was He?  Why did He let things happen like this?
Less than a week later on Jan. 19 2005 we were in Guatemala with our precious child ready to bring him home.  Looking back now, I can see God all over our journey.  He allowed delays and doubts so that I would trust Him completely not in my own resources.  He allowed Mimi to die before we brought Zach home because He know how important Zach would be in healing my husband and his dad.  I know God allowed us to visit Zach so that we could bring him to Mimi in videos and pictures...I don't think she wanted to meet him in person this side of heaven...I think she knew it was better for everyone that way.
During the journey I couldn't see God.  I didn't know where He was.  I prayed and read the bible and listened to music that calmed my soul.  But in the midst of the storm I couldn't see Him.  Oh but He was there.  He never left.  He was what held me together and kept me sane.  He gave me strength I didn't know I had to make the journey.  He put boulders in our way...but He gave us rock-climbing gear to get over them.
And what a story do we have to tell of His faithfulness, love, and kindness!
Mimi and her boys Christmas 2004
'Adoption is not for the faint of heart, but for those who knows He has His part.'

'but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.'  Isaiah 40:31

I wait for you lord
My soul my soul waits
Well I wait for you lord
In your word I place my trust
In your word I rest
In your word I place my trust
For I know I must wait

Thou shalt not live on bread alone
But by every word of God
I will not live by bread alone
But by every word
(lyrics by Jeremy Camp)



2 comments:

Kelli said...

Wow! I loved reading this! It gives me courage today. It is so hard to endure something that breaks our hearts so badly. But if we keep our eyes focused on Jesus we will bathe in his blessings- whether those are "right now" or 2 years from now. Keeping faith when you want to quit is hard but so worth it!
Thanks!
www.mothersonmission.org

Kelly said...

Wow- what a story you have. We have friends that are considering adopting right now, but are pretty sure they are going to do it domestically b/c of all the difficulties they've heard of in the last few years. You guys are brave for finishing out the whole process, but I'm sure you couldn't imagine it any other way now!