Sunday, January 2, 2011

The Scale and I

Sounds like it should be a screenplay, doesn’t it? Can’t you picture it? A beautiful, thin (of course) lady in a big, flowy dress with her King—oh wait a minute! I said scale and I! Okay, so scratch the movie scene. Well maybe just tweak it a little and change it to a horror scene!

My scale and I have had a long love/hate relationship that has been mostly hate. The only time I’ve even partly loved it is when the number is heading the way I want it to—DOWN! I can honestly say that it has been hanging steady for a while now. I’m in my 30’s now and I’m thinking I may need to take up this phenomenon they’re calling exercise!

But seriously, I have struggled with my weight my entire life. I was a chubby little girl, a chubbier middle schooler, an anorexic high schooler, a vegetarian college girl, and more recently a Weight Watchers follower. I have come to grips with the fact that I love food. I love it more than I should. When I became pregnant the first time I gained 70 pounds. I just knew I was gonna have a 50 pound baby, but I didn’t. He was only 9 pounds. I had to actually WORK to get the weight off. Then I got pregnant again. I told God and myself that I was going to do better. I did, but only because he came 6 weeks early. If I’d had the entire 9 months the weight would’ve there.

So now I’m losing again. Seems like an ongoing battle that I just can’t seem to win. But then I’ve come to realize that I have been consumed with weight, scales, self-image, and so on for so long that I don’t know how to live without them. I’ve had to realize that I have to let go and let God. I can’t feel guilty if I enjoy an ice cream with my kids. I need to learn moderation and self-control. I need to realize that I am not a teenager anymore. I’ve had 2 children. My hips will never be the same…nor will my C-section belly.

That’s why I love Weight Watchers. I can eat things I like and still lose weight (although I’m gonna have to bite the exercise bullet). I don’t have to feel guilty. I can do my part and then just let go and let God do the rest. I can’t obsess over it. Maybe I can even do a screenplay on My Scale and I….once enemies now friends.


Lisa said...

This battle is all too familiar. I don't want to be obsessed with the scale or food, I want to be obsessed with God.

Kelli said...

I gained about 75 lbs with my first too but she was a month early...Praise Jesus for that. I remember making a visual location of my nearest weight watchers just in case the baby, like you said, wasnt 50 lbs. I think every women feels this pain when she peaks at a scale lurking in her bathroom. I guess us girls just need to stop being obsessed with the outside and become more concerned about the inside. Great post today! How was Passion! I cant wait to hear! Did you get to see anything or were you too busy working?

Phather Phil Malmstrom said...

I've actually made some meals from the Weight Watchers cookbooks and there's actually some REALLY good stuff in there. :-) Have a Blessed Day!

Heidi said...

"The Scale and I"... I love it, so cute! You and I are on the same page my friend, this is true of me as well..."I’ve come to realize that I have been consumed with weight, scales, self-image, and so on for so long that I don’t know how to live without them. I’ve had to realize that I have to let go and let God." I've done every diet and taken every pill... non-prescription and prescription and they all work... for awhile. I am the yo-yo queen and I've had it. Why do we continue to go to food for the satisfaction that only He can provide? I don't know, but I am done, done and done. I know you're reading Lysa's book too and I swear, she is describing me to a T and that has been wonderful. I am also reading Thin Within and I just signed up for WW (again). So, let's cheer each other on and do it for all the right reasons this time! Have you seen this site... All her recipes are points plus and they are awesome, plus she posts beautiful pictures. Praying for us!