Thursday, February 3, 2011

The Dating Game

The topic for the Thursday Jam over at Faith Barista this month is LOVE as this is the month that we officially celebrate it. To be more specific, today's topic is 'what I wish someone would have told me about dating'. Oh, I could write a book on this one, but I'll try to keep it to a few paragraphs :-)

Do you remember the TV game show The Dating Game from the 1970's? I didn't watch the original, but did watch the reruns and the revamped version that came later.  It was brought back to my mind recently when I saw on TV that one of our nation's most notorious serial killers, Rodney Alcala, (OK, so I'd never heard of him, but apparently he was pretty evil) was a contestant!  Who knew?  He actually won!  Poor woman...can you imagine finding out the guy you went out with for hamburgers had killed another woman (or more than that for all we know). 

No, I don't think that all guys are serial killers or have the potential to be.  But I do think that when girls start the 'dating game' most of the time they really don't know the guys they are seeing.  Out of everything that I wish I knew when I started dating this is one of the biggest.  The fact that you may think you know someone after a few phone calls or because you see them at school when in reality you don't know a thing about the guy.

I also wish I played the field more.  I don't mean making a name for myself as being 'loose', but not just settling for someone because I thought that was the best that I could do.  I wish I'd have prayed about the guy that I should be dating.  I wish I had listened to my head instead of my heart many times over.  Oh well...

The best piece of advice I have to give is that you need to be certain of your relationship with Christ before you even think of dating or finding a mate.  If you don't have a relationship with Him then get one.  Get to know Him before you worry about anything else.  You'll save yourself so much heartache.  The second most important thing is to make sure of the relationship the potential guy has with Christ.  If he doesn't have one...lose Him.  If  he's wishy-washy...lose Him.  If he says he'll go to church and 'get to know God'...lose Him. 

Remember that God has a plan for your life.  His ways are not our ways, nor His thoughts our thoughts.  We don't like to be alone.  It is not in our nature.  But we don't need to search for our fulfillment in another human being.  We need to start with God and from there everything else will fall into place.  He is the only One that can fill the empty places in our hearts and He wants to be our first love...

'We love because he first loved us'.  1 John 4:19




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11 comments:

Kelli said...

I love the Barbie photo! I do remember seeing that serial killer guy on Dateline or something! Crazy. I agree, sometimes we dont know who were are dating because they make us believe they are one thing when they are something else. I fell for it. " The best piece of advice I have to give is that you need to be certain of your relationship with Christ before you even think of dating or finding a mate." Amen!

Jenifer said...

We need to find our worth in Christ before even considering dating. This is what I pray daily for my children. Great post!

Nancy Jensen said...

Great advice.

No one will ever love us and fulfill our needs like Christ does. We have to be filled with him to effectively love and receive love from others.

Lisa said...

"But we don't need to search for our fulfillment in another human being." Amen! Only God can fill the longings in our heart. We need to find our identity in Him alone.

Chasity said...

Absolutely our love and worth comes from Christ alone.

Heidi said...

That is the one thing that would have changed everything... if I had just known Christ :)

Heidi said...

PS... I obsessively watched "The Love Connection," remember that one?

Sheryl said...

If he's not sold out for Jesus, lose him. Perfect advice!

Phather Phil Malmstrom said...

Allison, much of this works from a man's perspective as well. I had more than a few scary dates and girlfriends before I met my wife. Had I the relationship back then with God that I do now, or the focus on the proper direction, I would have saved myself much pain and many sleepless nights.

In the end though, God teaches us many lessons through our trials and I don't regret anything I learned through my dating years. They helped form me into the man that I've become, and gave me perspective I hope I can pass along to my boys as well.

Have a Blessed Day!

Charissa Steyn said...

Mhmm!! Jesus is the only one who will make us content - single, dating, or married!! HIM FIRST definitely!!

Bonnie Gray said...

Oh, yes don't we all have enough material to write a book? :) .. Love how you distilled it to your gem here, Allison! Thanks for keeping the light on for me...