Tuesday, August 31, 2010

And the Lord remembered her

  Remember the story about Hannah and her desire for a son?  It has taken on a new meaning to me in recent years as the parent of a special needs child.  Our middle son, Sam, will be starting "normal" preschool on Thursday.  He has mild cerebral palsy that has affected mainly his gait and right side strength.  He can walk independently (if you don't count the numerous falls he takes) and uses a walker for longer distances.  His speech is also mildly affected.  So you can understand my anxiety as he goes off into the world of "normal" walking children.  It is hard for me to give up control of his enviornment and send him off into the big unknown.  How will he be treated?  Will the other kids make fun of him?  Will  he be accepted?  What if the teacher can't understand him?  And so on...can you tell I am nervous about this whole thing?  He's only 3 and it's only preschool!!
Then I remember that he is not mine but God's child whom He has entrusted to us here on earth.  He blessed us with Sam when we were not supposed to be able to have any biological children (like Hannah).  He gave us this precious life and all that goes along with it....struggles and victories alike.  Our purpose as Sam's parents is to love him with the love of Jesus and teach him about Christ and the Word of God so that he becomes the man of God that he is intended to be.
When I found out I was pregnant with Sam, I almost immediately decided on the name Samuel because of its meaning. 
1 Samuel 1:20 says, "She named him Samuel, saying, 'Because I asked the Lord for him.' "
I, like Hannah, had asked the Lord to bless us with a biological child.  Did I want him to be "normal"?  Sure I did.  Is he?  Absolutely...in God's eyes and ours.  He may have some limitations and differences, but he is just the way God meant for him to be.
"I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him.  So now I give him to the Lord.  For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord."  1 Samuel 1:27-28
This is what I must do with our Sam.  I will give him to the Lord daily to be the blessing to us and others that God means for him to be.  It will be hard as my mother's instinct is to protect him from this world.  But God has a purpose for him and his cerebral palsy is part of the plan of his life.  I need to get out of the way and let God do His job.  He surely doesn't need my help just my obedience.
So when Thursday rolls around I will send my precious gift from God out the door with pride.  He is my blessing that I have given back to the Lord to use as He will.  I may have to remind myself of this every time he goes out the door and into the "normal" world, but I will honor God with my son.
"After the boy is weaned, I will take him and present him before the Lord, and he will live there always."  1 Samuel 1:22

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